Is there anything more depressing than coming across your old blog page and reading your pathetic and mostly failed attempts at humour? 'Of course there is, you self-important tit!' I imagine you cry, and having to read this awful crap in the first place is surely one of them. But that's your own fault. All of which is a roundabout way of saying that I'm three years older than I was then, several stones heavier, and now have a third child to add to my collection. I did give birth to all three of them by the way - I don't really collect children, if that was worrying you. This blog may be a cry for help, but not in that way.
Anyway, I expect there will be more of the same garbage for a while, until I can stand myself no longer and finally get the job in Morrisons I've been promising to for years. Coming back home to North Yorkshire may be the most interesting thing that has happened to me since I had an eight-weeks-premature baby by emergency caesarian aged 42, (my age, not the baby's) but that doesn't make it interesting in the real sense of the word. Still, as I mention in my profile, if you want that sort of thing there's always Twitter. Davina McCall has given up sugar recently, for example. And that's just one example - there's loads more where that came from.
So now I have to decide what to write about I suppose. I no longer live in a listed building as we opted for a leap forward in time for our next purchase. Right up to 1960, pop pickers, and a bungalow to boot! It's a cross between Peter Stringfellow's dream retirement villa and the toilet block of a Hoseasons caravan park. Still, at least it's warm, and when you close a window the weather remains on the other side of it, which is a novelty, and makes us want to join hands, sit in a circle and drink hot chocolate, but we don't.
I do of course still attend the primary school playground twice daily, and as we've lived here for a year now, sometimes have conversations with people. The 'mummy categories' have migrated north fairly intact, but our more rural aspect has introduced a couple more sub groups. I can now add 'farmers wives' and 'horse whisperers' to my pork pie chart, but have little more to say yet on this topic, even though preliminary research has revealed to me the difference between 'hay' and 'haylage'. I have however ordered a box set of Countryfile and added a series link to the Claire Balding Show, so once the hard work is done it's only a matter of time before I can start to do what I do best, which as you know, is breaking down barriers.
